War and Cake

A one act comedy by Rob Hockley

War and Cake was awarded ‘Highly Commended’ in the Trinity College Playwriting Competition in 2014. The judges had some fine things to say – mostly about how funny and finely crafted the plot was (see below).

“The plot is original and excellently utilises observational humour about both the realities and fantasies of young love and the differences in the perspectives of boys, girls and gods of war.”
“This play is hilarious and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every sentence. Genuinely laugh out loud funny.”
“This is a quick, imaginative and at times surreal comedy”
“Many techniques are used to add variation and interest, such as the daydream sequences, the asides with the Gods and the offstage voice of the sandwich.
A fantastic play which has had me laughing each time I read”

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Gwen and Michael, two hopeless teenagers with an unspoken thing for each other, find themselves being flung apart as Ares, mighty god of war, is challenged by Venus, goddess of human relationship resources, to bring them together. It should be an easy enough task but hampered by his complete lack of human understanding and desperate to win at any cost Ares finds each of his increasingly bizarre schemes foiled as Gwen’s Jane Austen inspired imagination, Micheal’s crippling fear of rejection and the well meaning help of their exasperated friends, combine to produce disaster at every turn.
Or so it seems. But what other forces might be at work? What exactly is Venus’s purpose in her challenge and why is it that the future happiness of everybody ends up resting on the power of a single cupcake?
So … now you know.

The script sample starts at the very beginning as Venus challenges Ares to a task he really isn’t suited to…

  • A surreal comedy for a cast of 8 teenagers
  • Playing age 13+
  • Set in a school canteen – so costumes pretty easy
  • For the same reason the set shouldn’t give you much trouble either
  • Which makes it really good as a competition piece
  • Food related incidents throughout.
  • Very very funny wordplay and visual humour
  • A great exercise for timing skills, delivery and imagination!

A laugh out loud comedy about the uselessness and stupidity of war designed to be simple to stage yet challenging to perform.

Artwork by Emma Beebee
This play is hilarious and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every sentence
Trinity College
Competition Judge


OFFER! We have reduced our prices following COVID
We do not offer a ‘reading copy’ but our scripts are priced to be affordable!

Script only: £5
You can photocopy it as much as you like for free.
Performing Rights:

One Performance: £20
Two Performances £35
Three or more performances £50

There are no other charges