May Contain Nuts!

A one act play by Barbara Hockley

May Contain Nuts! is a one act play of excellent daftness.
Teenagers (and possibly younger – definitely older) love the silliness and the storytelling. It is storytelling … it’s not just a crazy random selection of scenes involving pirates, vampires, French poets of great renown, mysterious old ladies, talking statues, various characters from Romeo & Juliet, sword fighting, spiffing adventures and treasure. Not at all. It’s really about writing and creating stories – the sort that inform you who you actually are (I know, deep…), but in the spirit of what appears to be a crazy random selection of scenes (see above). Pirates figure a lot. And why shouldn’t they?


It all starts here
  • Lots of fun parts
  • Surreal, whacky comedy
  • Cast of 16 – or more
  • Multi-roling possible
  • Easy set – a platform is good
  • Costumes mainly consist of accessories (but whatever you like)
  • Props are crucial, but fun
  • Great fun to be in
  • Great fun to watch
  • Versatile – outdoor/indoor…
  • Lots of opportunities to be very creative – let your imagination go WILD
  • Requires physical comedy and very, very silly sword fights
  • Running time 35-40 minutes
  • Optimum age range 11+ (up to whatever you like)
  • You need more reasons?


Rehearsals have never been so much fun - and it's not JUST about pirates!
May Contain Nuts
Swiftly moves on to piratey scenes


Of course there is (she says, defensively). Why on earth do you need to ask?
Ok … I’m not sure you could really call it a ‘plot’, but things do follow other things – and it does reach a conclusion. It starts with Henry, our hero, trying to write a story. But his story runs away with him and (this will surprise you), they go in search of pirates and treasure. It’s an adventure that embraces many strange and wondrous places and characters. And then there is Jane – who escapes from Henry’s rather bland imagination in search of a better story. You really need to give it a read…
In fact … why don’t you …

The sample starts from the moment our protagonist has realised they’re not in control of the story. They just can’t seem to get the characters under control (I know the feeling).

Our Seniors have just performed 'May Contain Nuts' in our annual Showcase. The show was amazing & everyone enjoyed themselves. 'May Contain Nuts' was a roaring success.
Jackie Smith


Good question. I wrote it when I was running a youth theatre and needed something funny and relatively short to perform at outdoor festivals, later transferring it to the theatre as well. Sometimes you just need to have some fun. It was at the beginning of my ongoing writing adventure – which seems to largely involve stories about writing stories – or maybe dreams, or just about creating a different future from the one you keep waking up to.

A spiffing adventure
with a few vampires thrown in (not just pirates)


OFFER! We have reduced our prices following COVID
We do not offer a ‘reading copy’ but our scripts are priced to be affordable!

Script only: £5
You can photocopy it as much as you like for free.
Performing Rights:

One Performance: £20
Two Performances £35
Three or more performances £50

There are no other charges